Adventures in Online and Interracial Dating

Not even two weeks into the online dating thing, I have concluded that this is the breakdown of types of photos my “matches” choose to post on their profiles:

Also, I have been the recipient of such creative gems in my inbox:

Hey how are you?

Hay how are you?

hi!!!

hello—how r u?

Even on the internet, I am underwhelmed by the effort men put forth.

As mentioned before, I managed to weed out about three prospects. The first one, Really Tall Guy, just wasn’t doing it for me so I stopped responding to his e-mails before he even found out my last name. I haven’t received any hate mail yet, so I suppose there won’t be any decaying animal corpses on my doorstep. Rotting squirrel carcasses rarely bode well for the future.

Except that one time.

But I digress.

The second guy, the Athletic Trainer (whom apparently you all hate based on his profession alone), and I have talked once (on the dating site’s lame IM interface) since I last posted. We really enjoyed our conversation and decided to take the plunge and become Facebook friends. He invited me to go bowling with him and his friends that night (he was supposed to meet them at 9, this was at 8:45. I live about 40 minutes away from this particular bowling alley and I was wearing sweatpants. I declined). He then agreed that yes, that was probably not the best venue for our first meeting as I wouldn’t know any of his friends, and it would be loud, so we wouldn’t really be able to talk much.

Also, it was 9:00 p.m. on a freaking weeknight. Bitch gotta get her beauty rest!

Just sayin’.

We agreed we would plan something for another time, and I urged him to run along and meet his friends and we would be in touch. After looking over his Facebook profile, I’m feeling sort of “meh” about him. I can’t really explain it. He’s nice enough, and if he does contact me I will probably go out with him and at least give him a chance, but I’m not exactly checking my inbox every fifteen seconds.

Which brings me to the third guy, Smartass Engineer (or SaE for short, I suppose)—the gorgeous Asian man who shares my penchant for sarcasm, karaoke, and inappropriateness. We got flirty over e-mail and eventually exchanged phone numbers. He called me Tuesday night during American Idol and I didn’t answer (ALLISON WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF HER SONG, WHAT?), but I texted him to let him know I’d call him back in a bit. When I called, he gave me straight hell (in a joking way) about avoiding him for American Idol, but I was like, “WAIT DUDE, YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE WATCHING DANCING WITH THE STARS. WHO IS LAMER?”

I think we tied.

We talked for several minutes, and laughed the entire time. He wanted to make sure I wasn’t easily offended because he can be a bit crass sometimes.

Me? Easily offended? This dude should read my blog. I talk about eye farts and squirrels with rigor mortis.

He should be OK.

Then he invited me to go out for sushi this Friday (tonight) because I had previously mentioned wanting to eat some.

I have a date tonight! Woot!

Not only is this my first Online Dating Experience, it is also my first Interracial Dating Experience.

Two birds, one stone.

Also, I’m glad he’s not offended I wanted to eat sushi. You know, since he’s Asian and all.

Yellow man, white girl FTW!

If our phone conversation is any indicator, we should get along swimmingly. As long as he doesn’t try to rape me, kill me, or show me his collection of human skin, I will consider the date a success.