You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'BLOG CONTEST' category.
Thanks to everyone who entered my contest! To recap, the winner will receive:
- A $15 iTunes gift card (I AM BROKE, OKAY?)
- A quickie store DVD porno with my face taped to the front. Your choice: Asian, Black, or White (not my face, the Adult DVD). That’s all the choices my quickie stores offer.
- My dignity after purchasing an Adult DVD at a quickie store and the satisfaction of knowing I will never be able to set foot in that quickie store again.
These may be the greatest prizes ever.
And now for the winner.
The person who got the most questions right is . . .
Drumroll please . ..
DWP got 8 out of 13. You go Glenn Coco!
Now that I’ve gotten one Mean Girls reference out of the way, DWP, send me your address so I can stalk you mail you your boring “white” porn.
I will be watching it first, though, before I send it. Just so ya know.
And yeah, I’ll clean it up first.
Now here comes the embarrassing part. The correct answers!
—
1. At what age did LRC have her first kiss?
a) 8
b) 12
c) 14 – I was a late bloomer . . .
d) 16
2. At what age did LRC lose her virginity?
a) 14 — . . . but I was also a fast learner!
b) 16
c) 18
d) 21
3. How many sexual partners has LRC had?
a) 1-13
b) 14-23 — The jury’s still out on an “official” number. Probably right around 20.
c) 24-35
d) More than 35
4. How many times has LRC been in love?
a) 3
b) 4
c) 5 – What can I say? I am a lover of men.
d) 6
5. Of the last four guys LRC has slept with, who had the biggest peen?
a) Murray
b) Adam – The Young One
c) BrownEyes
d) New York
6. What is the “hardest” drug LRC has ever done?
a) Marijuana
b) Cocaine – Bleh, I’m not proud of it, but it is what it is. Kids, don’t do drugs.
c) Heroin
d) LRC has never done drugs
7. Has LRC ever had sex in a car?
a) Yes — With Adam of Big Peen fame. It was HOT. But no, I was not driving.
b) No
c) Hell yes she was driving, biatch
8. What is the current state of LRC’s pubes?
a) Bald as Vin Diesel
b) Landing strip, nothing else
c) Half grown out from shedding the winter coat — Please refer to the following question.
d) 8 years of Bush just ain’t enough!
9. How long has it been since LRC has had sex IN HER OWN BED?
a) Less than a month
b) 1 month – 3 months
c) 3 months to 6 months
d) More than 6 months – Cry.
10. What’s LRC’s bra size?
a) 32A
b) 32B
c) 34B — More than a handful is a waste!
d) 34C
11. LRC’s favorite sex toy?
a) The Rabbit
b) Sybian
c) Plain Jane vibrator
d) None of this “sex toy” crap. I want REAL peen. – It’s true. When I was dating Tom, the one with The Boil, he bought me a rabbit. I tried to use it once, hated it, and ended up throwing it in the communal dumpster at my apartment amidst empty Bud Light cans and discarded “blunt guts.” Shiz just ain’t fo’ me.
12. Where did that stain on LRC’s bed come from?
a) New York
b) LRC’s cat (not the Sexual kind, the Feline kind) — Damned ticks.
c) Cheetos
d) Tears of sadness
13. What is the meanest thing LRC has ever said to a good friend?
a) “Your boyfriend’s dick isn’t as big as you said it was.”
b) “You really should try Proactiv if you want to get a date for the prom.”
c) “Shut up, you fat whore.” — I do have an explanation for this. Another blog, another day.
d) “If you leave me alone, I’ll give you $5. And maybe a handjob.”
TIE-BREAKER: How long, in months, was it from the day my parents got married until the day I was born? OPTIONAL, but, if you tie with someone else, this may be your chance to win. So just pick a number. 5 – we keep it classy here in The South.
—
And now that you all think I’m a whore with no morals, I think I can end this post.
It’s my 100th post! You know what that means!
No?
Well, I’ll tell you.
CONTEST TIME.
Open your e-mail, point it toward longredcape@gmail.com, and fill out your answers to this quiz involving all things Sexual and Debaucherous. Send.
THE WINNER WILL RECEIVE:
- A $15 iTunes gift card (I AM BROKE, OKAY?)
- A quickie store DVD porno with my face taped to the front. Your choice: Asian, Black, or White (not my face, the Adult DVD). That’s all the choices my quickie stores offer.
- My dignity after purchasing an Adult DVD at a quickie store and the satisfaction of knowing I will never be able to set foot in that quickie store again.
Deadline for entry: Friday night, 11pm EST.
1. At what age did LRC have her first kiss?
a) 8
b) 12
c) 14
d) 16
2. At what age did LRC lose her virginity?
a) 14
b) 16
c) 18
d) 21
3. How many sexual partners has LRC had?
a) 1-13
b) 14-23
c) 24-35
d) More than 35
4. How many times has LRC been in love?
a) 3
b) 4
c) 5
d) 6
5. Of the last four guys LRC has slept with, who had the biggest peen?
a) Murray
b) Adam
c) BrownEyes
d) New York
6. What is the “hardest” drug LRC has ever done?
a) Marijuana
b) Cocaine
c) Heroin
d) LRC has never done drugs
7. Has LRC ever had sex in a car?
a) Yes
b) No
c) Hell yes she was driving, biatch
8. What is the current state of LRC’s pubes?
a) Bald as Vin Diesel
b) Landing strip, nothing else
c) Half grown out from shedding the winter coat
d) 8 years of Bush just ain’t enough!
9. How long has it been since LRC has had sex IN HER OWN BED?
a) Less than a month
b) 1 month – 3 months
c) 3 months to 6 months
d) More than 6 months
10. What’s LRC’s bra size?
a) 32A
b) 32B
c) 34B
d) 34C
11. LRC’s favorite sex toy?
a) The Rabbit
b) Sybian
c) Plain Jane vibrator
d) None of this “sex toy” crap. I want REAL peen.
12. Where did that stain on LRC’s bed come from?
a) New York
b) LRC’s cat (not the Sexual kind, the Feline kind)
c) Cheetos
d) Tears of sadness
13. What is the meanest thing LRC has ever said to a good friend?
a) “Your boyfriend’s dick isn’t as big as you said it was.”
b) “You really should try Proactiv if you want to get a date for the prom.”
c) “Shut up, you fat whore.”
d) “If you leave me alone, I’ll give you $5. And maybe a handjob.”
TIE-BREAKER: How long, in months, was it from the day my parents got married until the day I was born? OPTIONAL, but, if you tie with someone else, this may be your chance to win. So just pick a number.
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS CONTEST. Please enter. Pretty please?
