Guys like sports.

I get that.

Some of you, though? Just baffle the shit out of me with your shenanigans.

The Lawyer, for instance.

The Lawyer is a University of Florida alum. He eats, sleeps, breathes, and shits Florida athletics. He’s one of those guys.

This year, Florida’s softball team is the #1 seed in the Women’s College World Series. Since regular season games aren’t televised, the WCWS is The Lawyer’s only chance to see them in action.

During a UF vs. Alabama game on Sunday, we were starting to give up hope on the Gators. They were down by 3, and the end of the game was drawing near. If they lost, they’d have to play another game later that night. Neither of us wanted that to happen.

When the game ran long, it switched over to ESPN 2. When The Lawyer changed the channel, his piece of shit TV just decided it was going to turn itself off.

After much swearing and hat-throwing, The Lawyer got an idea. He retrieved a smaller, even shittier TV from storage, and set it up next to the other TV. There was peace in the forest again.

Until, that is, THAT TV started fucking up.

Oh yes. The picture would come and go. Audio stayed the same but let’s face it. You don’t want to listen to the game when you could be watching it.

The Lawyer surmised that the TV’s were becoming overheated. So he went into his bedroom and grabbed his fan. He plugged the fan up behind the smaller TV and put it directly next to the TV’s vent.

“You’re a freaking nut,” I said.

“Oh no. I’m not done.”

He grabbed his tool bag and pulled out one of those hand saws (sorta like this one), and began SAWING THE BACK OF THE TV OFF.

Behold:

gottabekidding

The Lawyer's handiwork, taken with my camera phone.

Now that, my friends, is the dedication of a sports freak. The Lawyer sawed his TV up to watch ONE INNING of a WOMEN’S SOFTBALL GAME.

His efforts paid off when the TV started working again just in time to see the Gators’ first baseman hit a walkoff grand slam in the bottom of the 7th.

I think it’s all a result of The Lawyer’s devotion.

—

In other news, The Lawyer and I are “official” now. My first real boyfriend since the breakup with Murray, almost a year to the day later! Of course, he saws up TV’s, but other than that? Completely normal.

Riiiiiight. Who am I kidding? Like I could ever date anyone “normal.”