The other day, The Lawyer and I were discussing the difficulties of small town dating. He said that when he starts dating a new girl, he usually takes her on dates at least two counties away so there’s no risk of anyone seeing him with a woman who, unbeknownst to him, may in fact turn out to be a psychotic whore.
Such a gentleman.
I’m guilty of the same thing, though. So we’re even.
Even though The Lawyer and I have been dating over a month now, we’re still not using the “girlfriend/boyfriend/relationship” label, and we are rarely seen in public together unaccompanied by others.
That’s just how we roll.
Don’t hate.
We’re both playing it safe. We know tongues will start wagging soon enough.
Did you hear that LRC and The Lawyer are dating? I heard she’s pregnant! Yep, knocked up already. I’m pretty sure they’re getting married next month, before she starts showing. What a pity, because I heard he cheated on her with a Puerto Rican prostitute.
Folks in my town have very active imaginations. I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is probably the type of rumor that will befall me.
Given the disappointing size of my town and the rampancy of its rumor mill, it’s no surprise that The Lawyer and I had this exchange while playing bar trivia last night:
The Lawyer: I just saw that guy’s cleavage.
LRC: Who? *whips head around, in true nondiscreet LRC fashion*
The Lawyer: He’s gone already. He was wearing a deep V-neck T-shirt, down to here *points to sternum*
LRC: Wow, what a douche.
Minutes pass.
The Lawyer: That guy.
Adam walks in.
LRC: (surprised to see Adam looking so metrosexual in a green deep-V T-shirt and a new emo haircut) Oh, him? That’s just Adam. What the hell is going on with him? His hair is all douchey and he’s sporting man cleave! Weirdo.
The Lawyer: Well, you’re the one who DATED him.
LRC: Only for like a month! And he never wore shit like that when we dated.
The Lawyer: Blink.
Blink.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA you DATED that guy? I was just kidding!
Ewps.
Heh.
Small world.
(Naturally, since Adam spoke to me last night, I awoke to a blank text message and missed call from him at 2am. It. Never. Stops. Folks.)
In other news, today The Lawyer will find out if he passed the Bar in [our state]. It’s very likely that he did because he already passed in [another Southern state, rhymes with Butt-fucky], but he said there’s always a chance that he didn’t pass.
Either way, we will be drinking heavily this weekend.
7 comments
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May 28, 2009 at 10:42 am
kim
I toast to your drinking heavily.
May 28, 2009 at 1:11 pm
shine
Aaaaannndddd now, so do I. Have It’s a Small World stuck in my head. Though, it’s oddly better than having Mambo #5 stuck in my head yesterday, thanks to BWP’s tweets.
May 28, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Matt
The thing about Puerto Rican prostitutes is that they always want to be paid beforehand which is such a turn off.
or so I’ve heard.
May 28, 2009 at 2:14 pm
lostinbrklyn
sending positive bar-pass vibes to you and the Lawyer. And suspecting he may want to make it “official,” label and all, as soon as he has that letter (or on-screen, whatev) confirmation that he can stay in your state and keep his job.
May 28, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Just Fine and Dandy
Emo haircut. HA!!!!
I really am so glad to hear that you and the Lawyer are getting along so nicely! Yeah you!!!!!!
May 29, 2009 at 3:52 pm
laylou
I can’t imagine what it must be like in a small town but this post helped clarify it for me =) enjoy the weekend of drinking!
May 29, 2009 at 5:09 pm
mysterycreature1
Ah, small town syndrome! We found a surefire (but not necessarily good) way to avoid that – move to soemwhere where you know noone, and can’t figure out how to get to know anyone. Completely solves the issue!