Just call me a fun-sucker, I guess.

You’ve probably noticed I’ve tried to refrain from bitching about BE. Reasons being, I’m sure you’re all tired of hearing about it and many of you think I’m a foolish woman for continuing to see him.

I’m not disagreeing with you.

So here I am to bitch about BE again.

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably noticed I’ve been complaining about my lack of sex. It’s been almost a week and a half since our last bump ‘n grind, and while I know that is not an extremely long time, my body is telling me HOLY HELL I NEED THE SAUSAGE AND I NEED IT NOW. Since we didn’t have sex this weekend, as our plans to spend Saturday night together changed due to the Incredible Shitting Man, I have been anxious to get back between the sheets with BE.

It started Sunday night. I called BE around 8:00 p.m. to see if he wanted to ‘hang out.’ He didn’t answer.

He called me the next night around 9:00 p.m. He explained that he’d fallen asleep on the couch the night before and didn’t wake up until 11:45 that night. A perfectly reasonable excuse, as sleeping is one of BE’s favorite pastimes. I knew since I was getting the phone call after 9:00 that there was no chance for sex, as he had to go to bed early for work the next day.

Last night (Tuesday), I made some delicious turkey chili in my slow cooker, so I called around 6:15 to ask him if he wanted to come over and have some with me, in hopes of bedding him later that night. Here’s how the conversation went.

BE: What’s up?
Me: Whatcha doing?
BE: Just got done working out.
Me: Oh. What are you about to do?
BE: Well, I’ve got to drop by a couple people’s houses, and . . . that’s about it.
Me: Oh. Well, I made some chili and I just wanted to see if you wanted to come eat some.
BE: Well actually, my brother’s in town, and we’re going to eat with the family. But I certainly appreciate it.
Me: OK then.
BE: Hey, can I call you back later?
Me: Yeah, bye.
BE: Bye.

First of all, why the eff didn’t he just say that in the first place? It felt like he was hiding something from me. “I’ve got to drop by a couple people’s houses.” What the fuck? Did he think I was going to try to invite myself to eat dinner with his family? I most certainly would not have.

When he asks what I’m doing, I always just SAY WHAT I AM DOING. Be it, watching a movie, hanging out with Claire, shaving my armpits, or plotting sweet, hairy revenge on a co-worker.

Also, is he ashamed of me? Does he not want to introduce me to his brother, for whatever reason?

When he pulls unneccessary crap like this, my immature side comes out in my brain and I think, well next time he asks what I’M doing, I’m just going to say, “I’ve got to go to a few people’s houses.” But I know that is a CHILDISH GAME and it will NOT solve anything. But I just get SO FRUSTRATED. What is so hard about being truthful?

BE, if you’re not going to admit that we’re dating, and if you won’t clear an hour from your entire week to bang my drum slowly, then DO NOT GET JEALOUS WHEN I TALK TO OTHER MEN.

You want me to stick around? THEN ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME.

He called back at 9:30 last night. I didn’t answer. He left a message.

Hey, I’m just headed home, getting ready to hang it up for the night. Call me back later. Bye.

I was having one of my hormonally-charged raging bitch moods last night, and when I heard that message I said out loud, “I’M HANGING IT UP FIRST. ASSHOLE.”

Of course, that was just the result of a little too much Cabernet Sauvignon and frustration that had been building for three hours. So I went to bed early and slept off my aggravation.

This morning, I asked Andy what he thought. He was equally confused, but he did offer this little nugget of wisdom.

You’re not looking to suck the fun out of his life… you just want to do crap with him.Guys… we have a tendency to think that women are trying to suck the fun out of everything.

Is this true? Do all men think this? Please, enlighten me.