You are currently browsing the daily archive for July 17th, 2008.
Everyone’s favorite guilty pleasure is back . . . Season 5 of Project Runway premiered last night. One of the only reality shows where you can rest assured that NOBODY will be hooking up, because they all either have vaginas or are gay men. Except for that one guy, but we won’t count him.
Why is spell check telling me that “vaginas” is not a word? IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE VAGINA. Wait, is it? No, no. I mean more than one vagina can be present in the room at any given moment. As a matter of fact there are TWO vaginas in my general office vicinity. Usually, there are THREE vaginas. See how I did that? VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA.
Anyway.
Sorry about that.
The first episode is always overstimulation for me, because I learn very little about each designer. So I will keep it brief and just give my highlights.
OK, first of all: These shorts?
These shorts are just not okay with me. At all. No man should be allowed to wear shorts that short. I don’t care HOW gay you are.
Also, this?
Picture stolen from Project Rungay
is my new cell phone background. Because every time I open my phone, I laugh. Like that uncontrollable laughter that almost always results in a snort.
(Can I also mention before I get to the dresses, that while I like Heidi Klum and all, I absolutely HATE her voice. It annoys me to the very core. I’d rather just look at her pretty face and not have to hear her talk. Kthx.)
ON WITH THE DRESSES.
I am a bit ashamed to admit that I am kind of in love with this dress. Sure, it’s HUGE. And made out of a tablecloth. But it’s YELLOW! I just love what Korto did with the kale and cherry tomatoes. It really gave the dress something extra it had been missing before. Although, in theory, it kind of seems like an afterthought, like it was something tacked-on last minute. It doesn’t really go with the tablecloth idea.
Whoever said this looks like something an axe murderer would wear, was TOTALLY RIGHT. Look, even the MODEL is scared of her ensemble. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, JERRY? YOU DESERVED TO GO HOME YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. OK, maybe that was a little harsh. But that was a bad, bad thing you done did. Shame on you. She looks like she’s about to swab me with alcohol and tell me, “you’ll feel soem slight pain at the site of the injection, but your syphillis should be gone in three to five weeks!”
While I will agree with Project Rungay and say that I LOATHE the top of this dress (it looks exactly like what it is–two coffee filters stuck to her ta-tas), I do love the bottom. It’s GORGEOUS. Kelli has a lot of creativity, and although I kind of hate her style, I think she’ll be a tough competitor because of her resourcefulness.
And finally, Blayne’s little piece I like to affectionately call the Trilobite Merkin.
Because that’s EXACTLY what it looks like to me.
Who did you love/loathe?
